Culture

It's time to talk about culture. What does that word mean? Culture is hard to define, even for people who study it.

Often, when we think of the word "culture," we think about things we can see, touch, or hear--food, music, festivals and celebrations. But if that was it, culture would be much easier to understand, and those tangible things don't explain why people experience culture shock or misunderstandings when they go to a new place or meet new people.

It's often the case that we find it difficult to adapt to new places or new groups of people--even people from our own general culture sometimes have misunderstandings. Think of a time when you thought you knew what someone wanted, but it turned out that they wanted something quite different. That was probably a cultural misunderstanding, and it happens all the time--everyone's family has slightly different ways of doing things, just like people from different countries have different ways of doing things.

This "way of doing things" is a big part of the word "culture." In order to survive, every human needs the same basic necessities: food, clean water, clothing (yes, that's an arguable point, but we'll keep it on the list), shelter, and each other (we depend on each other whether we like it or not). How people go about getting these basic elements is one way of identifying culture. There are lots of views on what constitutes culture, but this way of talking about culture will do just fine for now; we'll look at some other ideas later. As long as you have food, clean water, clothing, shelter, and other humans, you'll be okay. How you organize all of that, though, is up to you and the society you belong to. Your method of obtaining and organizing these elements may be different from how I do it. And that's perfectly okay.

Food and Water
In our culture (assuming we share the same culture), we shop at the grocery store, or maybe we keep a garden to obtain food. Most of us have access to clean, running water on a regular basis. We may cook our meals or buy them already made from stores or restaurants. We may eat our food alone, with our families, or with friends. We can use food to celebrate major events that we consider important--holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, Spanish class parties (remember, our idea of what's important will be different from others' ideas). In some cultures, people use food to express love--that's why my grandma always tries to put more food on my plate. She loves me! I understand that's why she pushes more food on people, but others might find her behavior rude or uncomfortable. I can't imagine anyone turning down my grandma's chocolate zucchini brownies, though. They are made of magic.

Clothing
In our culture, clothing is not optional (just to make that clear!). Clothing isn't just to protect our bodies from the elements, but to make a statement about who we are. Even if you don't care a whole lot about your appearance, I bet you prefer certain colors to others, and I bet you prefer certain kinds of clothing to others. Whether you realize it or not, you make a statement about yourself every day with the clothing you choose (and most of us have the privilege of choice, as well, which says even more about our culture). How you care for your clothing is also telling--do you wash every piece of clothing every time you wear it, or are there some things you wear more than once before washing? Do you use a clothes dryer, or do you air dry your clothing? If you air dry your clothing, do you hang it where the neighborhood can see it, or do you have a more private place for drying your clothes?


Shelter
It's not just the building, but also who lives in it. Do you live with relatives or friends? Do you plan on moving out when you graduate from high school? Does your extended family live with you, or just your immediate family? Do you live in an apartment, above a business in town, in the country, or in a duplex? Is your roof flat or pitched? Do you have your own room or are you expected to share with others? Which room in your house is the most important room?

Everyone needs shelter, and different cultures have different ideas about how shelter should be made. In some parts of Latin America, for example, it's common for families to live in houses that are close together, and to have a fence or some kind of wall around their houses. It's also common to have a small yard or patio, and in warmer climates windows are left open all day to ventilate the house (so it may not be customary to have air conditioning).

Depending on the culture, it may be normal for many family members to live together--aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents, children, cousins. It may be common for everyone to sleep in the same room. It may not be common to have beds or to use blankets. It's all a matter of custom and preference.

Building materials may be different, as well. Our region has 4 seasons, so we have to be prepared for snow as well as 90º heat--that means we try to build our houses to withstand many conditions. In other climates the cold is not a problem, so houses may not be insulated, or they may have tile floors to keep things cool.


Each Other
This is the most complicated element that humans need for survival, and the most difficult to understand. The relationships that we have with our families and friends may be incomprehensible to others--how we create, define, and maintain relationships is culture-specific.

What does it mean to be a friend? Is a friend just someone to pass the time with, or is a friend considered part of the family?

How we interact with others is a huge part of our culture--how we address them, work with them, rely on them, which language we use, how much personal information we share, and a million other factors.



These are the most basic elements of survival. It's no wonder, then, that we have trouble understanding others, even if they seem very similar to us. The most important elements of culture are the things we can't see: our thoughts, habits, customs. These are things that are difficult to explain, and when we meet other people whose thoughts, habits, and customs are different from ours, we may find that we unknowingly offend someone. Likewise, others may unknowingly offend us.

So, how do we avoid cultural misunderstandings? I'm so glad you asked. I've had a lot of experience with this, and I can honestly say that the best way to learn is not to be afraid to make mistakes. Still, there are ways to avoid mistakes and learn about others.

1. Keep an open mind. Remember, "different" isn't wrong, it's just different.

2. Be patient. Sometimes it takes a while for us to realize that we've made a mistake, or to figure out the solution to a sticky situation. It's worth your time to patiently work out the misunderstanding so you can use that new knowledge the next time something comes up.

3. Be polite but don't be afraid to say how you feel. Politeness will be different for everyone, but do your best to show courtesy to others. At the same time, don't be afraid to say what's troubling you--you can't fix a problem if you don't identify the problem. Open discussion may feel awkward at first (depending on your culture!), but if you really want to learn and know about people, be prepared for some awkward moments. It'll either get better or you'll get used to it. In my case, I'm just used to being awkward all the time--but I learn a lot!

4. Ask questions. If you don't ask, you'll never know. People will tell you if they aren't comfortable answering, and you can do the same.

5. Respect others' choices. Whether you agree with them or not, everyone makes decisions based on their culture (even if they're not aware that's what they're doing). Culture is one of the most important things humans have--it's our way of identifying ourselves and making sense of the world around us. So, when someone makes a decision or acts a certain way, they're doing it in accordance with whatever culture they identify with. That may not be your culture, and you may be puzzled by others' actions and attitudes. The good news is that no one's asking you to judge them, so you can relax and enjoy knowing people for who they are, rather than who you think they should be.

This is a lot to take in, especially if you've never thought about it before. Even if you never plan to interact with people from other cultures (good luck with that!), these ideas are useful. Like I wrote above, everyone does things just a little differently, and a little variety is wonderful. Understanding others will help you understand yourself, and that's what many people consider the point of being human: understanding who we are.